How do you eat an elephant?

If you knew my daddy, then you know the answer to this question.  He taught thousands of students accounting and business courses at the University of AR at Monticello, and if they didn't learn a thing about business, they certainly learned how to eat an elephant.  I can't tell you how many people have told us over the years how often they think of him when they face a big problem.  He once told me that if you don't leave an impact on any one's life, then when you are gone, it's like you were never here.  That's certainly not something he had to worry about as he took his last breath five years ago today.  His influence on me and my brothers would be enough...but he was so much more than that.

One thing that can be guaranteed about my Daddy is that he had the most integrity of anyone that ever lived.  There was no gray with him; and that is something that still impacts me and the decisions that I make today.  If I ever have a question as to what is right and wrong, I can think of how my daddy would have handled the situation - because he always chose the upstanding, ethical choice.  He always knew the answer and never wavered to the right or to the left.  What an admirable quality.

He was also so incredibly smart.  If you had any question about business, taxes, business law, accounting, banking, money - he knew the answer.  This came in very handy as I was working in the business world - my own personal 24 hour hot line.  Even though I'm not working anymore, there have been countless times over the past 5 years that I needed to call and ask him about our personal finances or just life in general.  His wisdom is something I miss greatly. 

He was also a great man of God.  I was born on a Tuesday and he had me in church the following Sunday.  We were there every time the doors were open.  He led our family spiritually not only in words, but in his actions as well.  He was a servant in the church and to those in need around him.  I inherited a tiny portion of that compassion for people in need.  If someone needed a ride, he gave it to them.  If they needed a little extra cash, he opened his wallet.  If they wanted a hug, he reached out to them.  He gave blood each and every time he had the opportunity (and once he became sick, he had to receive about 25 units, but he had far outgiven that in years past.  For the past 5 years, we've held a blood drive in his honor and have lost count of how many units have been donated because of him.)

But my Daddy wasn't all business...he was so silly!  He told the stupidest jokes!  He could be so loud and embarrassing to his teenage daughter!  He would dance around and be silly.  He tried to learn my cheerleading jumps with me (have you ever seen an old man try a hurkey???).  He ALWAYS had a hole in his socks and was proud of it.  He would sing to any baby he held, even though he "couldn't carry a tune in a bucket" - always the same song...Home on the Range.  We used to tell him that they fell asleep just so they didn't have to listen to him anymore.  He also had endearing nicknames for those he loved.  Mine was "Fat Girl".  Wasn't he sweet ;)

I miss my Daddy on a daily basis.  Even 5 years later, there are still things throughout every day that remind me of him.  Whether it's the smell of coffee at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, a fried catfish buffet, a ten-key adding machine, stick-shift vehicles, Obsession cologne, a stain on someone's tie, dirty hunting boots, Alan Jackson's "Daddy let me drive", or watching the Arkansas Razorbacks - a smile is brought to my face and more times than not, a tear to my eye.  He was such a good Daddy.

On this day, June 26, 2005, when Annabelle was just 12 days old, most of our immediate family and several close friends stood around his hospital bed and I held one hand while my brother held the other.  We knew that his fight was almost over and that he was hanging on just for us.  My mom told him that we were going to be OK.  She would be OK, his kids would be OK, his mom would be OK, and he had done everything that he could possibly do to make sure that we were taken care of.  He no longer had to fight and that it was OK to let go.  He looked at my brother and at me and we were able to tell him how wonderful of a Daddy that he had been and how much we loved him.  He looked around one last time at everyone standing there and closed his eyes.  He breathed about 10 more breaths and then we watched his sweet soul fly away to meet his Maker.  As painful as the moment was, it was beautiful at the same time.  To see all his suffering and pain just let go was absolutely priceless.  He had fought 7 hard months of a rare blood disease, myleofibrosis, and finally, he won.  He won victory in Jesus. 

I know that given the chance, he wouldn't want to come back.  As much as we all miss him, we wouldn't want him to come back in the state that he was in.  We will just all look forward to the precious day that we will meet again.  There are many days that I feel so very blessed to have had such a wonderful, loving father for 24 years.  And there are other days that I feel so very cheated that I only got him for 24 short years.  There are many, many stages to grief and loss and there are times that I still cycle through them.  One thing is for sure, this man will never be forgotten.  He left such an incredible legacy and taught us all to be better people.  My babies will never know him, but we will try our best to keep him alive through stories, pictures, and the strong principles that he taught us.  Mr. Harris RICHARD Huffman will always carry a part of my Daddy - and I'm so thankful for that.

As we've spent the last 5 years learning how to live life without him, it's been a lot like eating an elephant....

 

....one bite at a time.

(one of my all-time favorite pictures)

(This was a couple of days before he died.  I'm so incredibly thankful that he got the chance to meet his baby girl's baby girl.)

(This one just makes me laugh.  We went to Gulf Shores, AL, every year for vacation, and this was Brad's first year to join us - 1997.  What precious memories!!!)